Ah, the beauty of Christmas! The neighborhoods are shining bright with Christmas lights, Christmas jams playing every day, the Starbucks seasonal drinks are hitting, and some quality time with family is on the way. But then the reminder starts to creep in… I’m single once again at Christmas!
The Instagram feed is filled with couples kissing in front of the Christmas tree, my friend’s kids smiling apprehensively while getting pictures with Santa, and my high school sweetheart now wearing matching Christmas sweaters with her husband. I’m forced to attend holiday parties alone where I’m trying not to look like that creepy guy in the corner. Getting all the cheesy Christmas cards that say, “From our family to yours!” when you’re a family of one.
It’s a reminder of the crippling loneliness that can come with the holiday season. Last Christmas, there were hopes and prayers made that it would be my last one alone. Fast forward to this Christmas, I’ve just turned 30 and continue to be the only person out of all my friends who is single. It’s hard not to let the fear and insecurity creep in with thoughts that a spouse might not be in the cards for me.
Being single at Christmas doesn’t have to be this dramatic. Instead, you’ll find it provides a unique opportunity for you to make the most of the holiday season. Check out some tips below on surviving singleness at Christmas!
Create Your Own Traditions
One of the best ways to cope with any Yuletide gloom is to have something to look forward to. 4 years ago I found myself with nothing to do on Christmas Eve and decided to make some plans…with myself. Thus started the tradition that I follow every Christmas Eve:
- Go to Christmas at Mosaic (duh!)
- Stop off at this neighborhood near my house that always decks their houses up in Christmas lights and walk around.
- Pick up multiple days worth of Chinese food. (Opinion: Leftover Chinese food is better than fresh Chinese food)
- Wrap Christmas presents for the fam.
- Watch the best Christmas movies of all time (Home Alone 1 & 2 and Die Hard)
This is the cheat code for the Christmas season for me. Every year, this is the night that I look forward to the most in December. It doesn’t rely on anyone else or require any massive planning. It’s just enjoying the quiet anticipation of Christmas morning and doing the things that bring me joy.
Your traditions might be different! Your traditions could be hosting a Christmas party, walking around your city or neighborhood and enjoying the Christmas decorations, jamming out to Christmas tunes and baking all the sweets, or whatever else you enjoy about this time of year. Just make it something that will stick!
Prep Yo Self!
While I can certainly put on my best flannel and hangout at the local Christmas tree farm in hopes of meeting a cute, quirky woman from a small town like all the Hallmark Christmas movies taught me, maybe it’s not the most effective way to spend my time this season. Instead, it can be an opportunity to prepare yourself for whatever or whoever could be coming your way.
Develop New Habits
You may have a couple of bad habits that could potentially be harming your future. Take some time and practice new, healthier habits to set you up for success down the road. That could be making it to the gym several times a week. Eating at home the entire week. Setting limits on social media. Be creative! For me? I turned 30 this year so my natural conclusion was to make a habit of taking my daily vitamins. I’ll probably be asking Santa for a pill box this year…
Set Attainable Goals
Spend a night where you’re jotting down goals for yourself in the new year. What are some things you still want to accomplish in this current season of life? Travel more? Earn that degree? Save more money? Make a plan!
Depending on your schedule, you may have more free time on your hands. Don’t be complacent. Find opportunities where you can fill up that time wisely. Maybe that’s volunteering with a local organization that you support or joining a serving team at Mosaic. Maybe it’s fixing up your house or building a side hustle. Just make sure you’re using much of the spare time you have in a healthy way that fills you up.
I know there’s the cliche, super cheesy preacher quote, “Be the person the person you’re looking for is looking for.” But healthily preparing yourself will not only get the notice of the people you want to attract but can also fill you up mentally, physically, and spiritually.
Read, Pray, and Reflect
The best gift you can get for Christmas is God’s presence! He may not promise to get me a date before Christmas, but God does promise to give me joy and peace. So what’s the best way to experience God’s presence? Dive into scripture, pray to God, and reflect on what you’ve read.
Looking for ideas on the scripture you can dive into? Here are some plans that can give you some guidance!
- Single for the Holidays
- Two Gifts from God: Singleness and Marriage
- Thriving in Your Singleness
- Waiting Here for You: An Advent Journey of Hope
After taking some time in the word, find a space in your house where you can quietly focus on God in prayer. Pray over what you just read, what you’re struggling with, and what you’re praising him for. After spending time in prayer, grab a journal and reflect on the time you had with God. Jot down what you’re feeling, what you’re taking away from the scripture you read, and key things you prayed on.
Don’t miss the reflection! Reflection is one area that I would quickly gloss over for years, but now is the key to my time with God. Writing down my thoughts is not only an intentional way to articulate the time spent, but it’s also a great resource to return to in the future.
Finding opportunities to have peace in this season rather than sadness or resentment will ensure that you can still have a great Christmas even when you don’t receive everything you asked for. The tips above not only allow me to experience contentment during the holiday season, but they also give me the comfort and joy that God wants us to experience at Christmas. Christmas may not look the way I want it to but, while I’m in the waiting, I’m going to make the most of it.